i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
