I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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