hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
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the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
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if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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