it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
