i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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