Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
