Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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