Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
