That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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