He uses pillows to masturbate.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
