it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize