you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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