mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
