Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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