It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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