Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
