Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
