If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
and you fell through a lawn chair
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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