everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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