Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
