i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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