i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
