He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
