look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
