And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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