i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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