Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
