You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
