Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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