my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
