Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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