I wanna passion pit in your ass
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am one with the molecules
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
