toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
