Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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