The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize