If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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