just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
