I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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