I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Randomize