I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
