Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
