Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
