I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
