If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
