i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
