He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"