i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
is it fun? or sober?
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