Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
