Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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