So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
