there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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