i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hippo gnu deer
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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