If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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