he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just had sex bonerless
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
