he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Even my vagina gasped.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
