id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
