the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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