Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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