I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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