Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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