She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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