I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
