it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
