I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
