yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
